16 Personalities

 

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I've received feedbacks saying that they want to read more of my blogposts. Thank you for your willingness to read it. Really appreciate it.💚 

So, today my post will be about the personality type that I am. One day in the past few weeks, I decided to try out this personality quiz to find out what type of personality I really am. To my surprise, Im an INFJ-T. I have the 'Advocate' personality. & I must say the description of  an Advocate personality really fits me. The quiz also listed down the famous known people that we know who are also an advocates; eg. Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Marie Kondo, Lady Gaga, Morgan Freeman, Rose from Titanic, Michael Scofield from Prison Break and Nicole Kidman. (Actually there's more but here's some that i know). 

and like I mentioned, i was quite surprised with the results. to support it here's the statistics; 

I think partly the reason why it turned out this way was what I had went through. I remember taking this similar quiz before and it stated that I was an extrovert & I still believe that I am an extrovert until this quiz stated the other wise. 53% introverted. Then, I realised, "eh, yeaa all this while i've always been 'malu' and not that open/friendly than i used to" so yeap.. 

& I couldnt agree more with my 92% Turbulent Identity. It states that "Turbulent individuals are self-conscious and sensitive to stress. They are likely to experience a wide range of emotions and to be success-driven, perfectionistic and eager to improve." which is so true ? I mean whatever that's mentioned or stated in this website, about INFJ-T personality is mostly true and i can totally relate it. 

This 16 Personalities quiz website also allows you to 'explore' your type like your strengths & weaknesses, romance, career path, friendships etc. I could go on and on to explain what it states about me.. but I wouldn't want to go in details because if I were to do so, this post is going to be one long essay for you to read. Come on, I don't want my readers to get bored. 

Instead of me explaining about what is this and that, why not you try this quiz yourself ? & find out what type of personality you are. No, you don't need to sign up for the premium profile. Save your money for better things okay. Click on this link here 16 Personalities to try out the quiz & maybe you can share with me what's yours 😊

I'm not going to share a lot today, because I want to rest before I start busy-ing myself in the kitchen with my mom to prepare for Iftar later. So, I guess that shall be it ? Hahahahahaa .. 

See you guys in the next 1 or 2 weekends ya ! 

Salam Ramadhan to all Muslims

Love,

Hidayah 💛🌼

Starting somewhere...

 

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It's 2021.

It took me quite a very very long for me to decide if I should restart this blog. 

After much contemplating, and I feel like maybe now is the right time. 

It's not easy to write something nowadays. Especially, when now with netizens, coming up with a content to write about; I mean it is not easy.  People will read the content and start criticizing here and there, readers not happy with the content etc. There's just many setbacks that can hinder one's blogging journey yknw. But for me, right now, the reason for me to decide on re-doing this blog, is for me to pour out my thoughts, my reflections and perhaps just sharing of whatever happened here and there. Should there be any setbacks like I mentioned earlier, Imma take it as a challenge? yeahh ... Afterall, if I want to do it, I should definitely be starting somewhere shouldnt I ? 😊 

Here I am ! Start of something new, In shaa Allah, hopefully this time round, I'll be diligent enough to constantly blog time to time. ✌

02 April 2021; My first entry after so long. So let's begin. 👇

Life hadn't been easy for me recently. It's definitely full of ups and downs. Mostly, downs I must say. I've been struggling with maintaining relationships with humans. Mostly, failed. I've been struggling to be a better me, being the more-positive-me. But I'm nowhere near there? 

I even ever thought of ending my life. I ever thought that maybe I shouldnt even exist if this or that were to happen. There were numerous incidents and times that I, honestly was at the brink of giving up. I tried to pull myself back up. But the rope seems too far for me to even reach for it. 

People say, "It's okay not to be okay". & Not being okay for so long will eventually eat oneself up. Get what I mean? Yeah thats me. I've been masking myself for so long. so long that eventually I burnout from it. I do question myself; am i suffering a depression kind? am I encountering some anxiety-attack-like. I just dont know. 

I had been on dates to dates. Meeting different guys time to time, but none of it sustained. I choose to believe that perhaps it's not the time for me to meet that "Mr.Right" yet. Or perhaps, they're just not my jodoh and I redha about it, I do. However these things or rather these situations made me wonder, what did I do or where did I go wrong, to not have achieve that happiness in my love life, to have failed in relationships countless times. It somehow got into me. & I tend to blame myself for the failure. In fact, up till now. 

I have come to the point in my life that I've decided, Im not going to go around for dates anymore, Im not going to see any new guys anymore. Not until, Im totally opened up for it. Because previous dates relationship, had brought me so down, so low, that I somehow lose trust in men. Lose trust in people I once trusted. 

As time past, I realised that "Hey, I cant be continuing to depend on humans and yknw expecting this and that from them. It's time for a pause and maybe go back to The Creator", which Alhamdulillah I did. Day to day, being consistent with my prayers, I can feel the void in me was filled bit by bit. Of course, I cant deny that there's still part of me kind of 'miss' the feeling of having someone/companion by my side. But I kept reminding myself, when the time is right, that "Mr.Right" will come, be patient. So yeah .. it hadnt been well la the journey especially. but I'm trying to overcome it and be stronger each day.

I've also been struggling so much with my emotions, personality, anger, anxiety. You name it. I hadnt been being myself lately. I had my downfall to the extent that the thought of ending my life, the thought of vanishing from people's life. It's that bad.. Hell yeah.. There's just too many waves of emotions ive been facing lately and its frustrating for me. What's worst is with me behaving this way, I somehow affect my relationship with people around me. & I will non-stop blaming myself for how it had became and will non-stop saying sorry for the things I did until I am assured that the other party is okay with me. I'm not sure if this is something that I should really seek help like professionally ? but It had been like that... Honestly, I've been trying to be a better version of me. Still doing so. but my anger, being anxious on and off; it's something that I've been trying to control and suppress so much that when one day it 'reached the limit' it burst and affect someone dearly.. you get what I mean?.. & I'll end up feeling regretful for it. It's not the first time.. but it's just frustrating. So frustrating that I feel like I'm just better off with no one..  me behaving such way, bursting out to innocent people around me - it's just so negative. Haiss 😔

Despite all that, I'm still here standing & making myself believe that I can change and be better than who I was. I just need to change my thinking, mindset, mentality and definitely STOP OVERTHINKING. That's like my super super bad habit 😞 I really really hope that there will be progress. Do make do'a for me to have the strength to be stronger and yknw change.. I definitely really need it. 

I believe I've wrote too much for this first 'refresh' post after so long. 

Thank you so much for your time reading my humble blog which consist of my rants, thoughts etc. 

Till we meet again !

Love,

Hidayah 💛🌼